


Wildest dreams

by ylc



Series: Taylor Swift's song inspired AUs [16]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M, Pining, Romance, au everyone is human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 18:53:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4846541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ylc/pseuds/ylc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Say you'll see me again (even if it's just in your wildest dreams)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wildest dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been meaning to write a one-shot with the song ‘the one who got away’. However, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new song and this popped up in my head so… Its companion piece will be ‘the one who got away’, but it might take awhile for me to write it.  
> In the meantime, enjoy?

Dean leans against the rail of the balcony. Eyes closed, he enjoys the relative silence of the night, although he knows the party is still going inside the house. It’s a little cold outside and his jacket is inside, but he can’t bring himself to go back. He needs to be alone, even if for a little while.

“Well, would you look at that! What are you doing here all on your own Dean-o?”

Too much for peace and quiet. “I wanted to be alone Gabe. Can you-? Just leave. Please.”

There’s a long silence and Dean has begining to believe Gabriel actually left, when the man comes to stand to him. The younger male sighs dramatically, making the older one smirk.

“So, what’s wrong?” Gabriel asks, sounding actually worried.

“Just because you’re banging my baby brother doesn’t mean we’re actually friends, you know?”

Gabriel scoffs. “We’re practically family Dean-o. Now, if you and my own baby bro just got their shit together…”

Dean growls in frustration and turns away, ready to go looking for somewhere else to hide. Gabriel catches him by the wrist before he can, though. “What happened?” the older boy demands, frowning.

“Don’t you know? Your brother is leaving.”

“What?”

“He got the scholarship for Juilliard.” Dean looks away. “I’m happy for him, but I- I had thought-” he takes a deep breath. “I just need some time alone.”

Gabriel lets go of his arm and sighs. “Stay here. I’ll leave.”

Once more, Dean is on his own. Something feels like it’s breaking inside him, but he doesn’t know what. He wants to cry and scream and laugh maniacally. He’s happy for Cas, of course he is, but he’s leaving and- he can’t- he just can’t-

“Dean?”

And now the object of his internal conflict is here. He looks at Castiel from the corner of his eye and his heart clenches painfully. It’s simply unfair how handsome the other teen looks in his black suit, even if the tie is backwards.

“Is everything-?”

“Ana told me.” Cas frowns and so Dean clarifies. “About Juilliard.”

“Ah” the blue eyed boy doesn’t add anything and for a while, they just stand there in silence. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Dean shakes his head. “I hope you know I’m happy for you. It’s just-”

He doesn’t need to finish that sentence for Castiel to understand. That has been the case since the beginning; they’ve always understood each other even without words.

Cas steps closer then, crowding Dean’s space, but the other male doesn’t care. They stare at each other’s eyes for a long while as they usually do and next thing Dean knows they’re kissing furiously, like there’s no tomorrow and this moment right here is all that mattered.

In a way, he supposes that’s the case.

“Let’s get out of here” Castiel whispers against his lips and Dean can’t do anything other than nod. He takes his best friend’s hand and drags him towards his car, never mind tonight is their graduation night and Cas’ parents are throwing this party for him. None of that matters right now.

If this is their last night together, he’s going to make it count.

* * *

 

They end up in a lousy motel. The bed creaks under their weight, the ceiling has nasty mould and the wallpaper is falling apart. As far as romantic settings go, this is a terrible one, but neither of them care.

They peel off their clothes in a rush and isn’t it funny that they’ve been dancing around this for years? They should have taken their chance ages ago. They could have been doing this for so long, they could have much more than a night of pleasure. But it’s too late for that and Dean refuses to waste any time on pointless regrets.

The kiss messily, groping each other without any finesse. Although neither of them are virgins, you wouldn’t know it by how clumsy they are; but it doesn’t seem to matter, because what’s really important is that finally, FINALLY, they’re together.

It’s over all too soon.

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Dean whispers against his friend’s shoulder and he doesn’t need to look up to see Cas’ face contorted in pain.

“Yes.”

They both know he can’t stay. It’s once in a lifetime oportunity and he’s not selfish enough to ask Cas to give it up for him. For them. For what they could have.

It’s too late and anyway, it wouldn’t be right.

“Just promise me something” Dean says and he hates the desperation on his tone but he can feel Castiel nodding and that’s what matters. “Promise we’ll see each other again.”

Cas pulls him into his arms and holds him tightly, almost painfully, like he doesn’t want to ever let go. “I promise.”

Later, when Cas has fallen asleep and Dean is watching him, trying to memorize every single detail, he kisses his cheek one last time and whispers, “we’ll see each other again. Even if it’s only in my dreams.”

He stands up and leaves, knowing that if he stays the night, he won’t be able to let go.

And that wouldn’t be fair.

* * *

 

In the following years, Cas tries to contact him endless times. Dean, however, remains cautiously evasive. Gabriel glares at him whenever they happen to run into each other, but the younger male doesn’t particularly care. Sam tries to talk him into giving long distance a shot, but Dean won’t listen.

It’s cruel and probably wrong, but he can’t bring himself to try to have something with Cas. If things didn’t work out when they were actually in the same state, how are they expected to work now, with so many kilometers between them?

It’s safer this way. He doesn’t fancy getting hurt and he knows that sooner or later things would come to an end, so better not to try. He doesn’t want a disappointment.

For years things stay that way. For years, Dean doesn’t talk to Cas and eventually, people don’t talk about Cas to him. At some point it’s like nothing ever happened between them.

But some nights, when he’s lying alone in bed, wondering about ‘what ifs’ and berating himself for not being braver, he ends up dreaming of blue eyes and a lovely smile.

* * *

Dean comes back from work, feeling tired as hell and so he can only collapse on the couch, next to Charlie who smirks at him. “Bad day?”

The male just grunts and the female laughs brightly, patting his arm. Dean lets his head rest against his roommate’s shoulder and stares at the TV without really seeing. “What are you watching anyway?” he questions as he watches a pretty girl slide someone’s throat.

“Paranormal” Charlie replies, still smiling “The leading lady is pretty hot, isn’t she?”

Dean hums in acknowledgement, assuming the girl now being held down by what looks like a werewolf is the leading lady. Suddenly, the camera shifts and shows a man entering the abandoned building, calling out for someone.

Dean’s breath catches as the man in the TV runs to save the female. “Oh god” he whispers softly and Charlie eyes him curiously. “That’s- that’s-”

“Castiel Novak” Charlie supplies. “He’s cute, isn’t he?”

It’s been 10 years since they’ve seen each other, but Castiel hasn’t changed a bit. Well, maybe a little, but the changes have only make him even more handsome. “He was- We were-” Charlie is staring at him worriedly and Dean gulps audibly. “We were in high school together.”

When he and Sam moved to California, they decided to start anew. That meant that no one really knew about their past and Dean made a point of never mentioning his younger years. After all, there was nothing really worth mentioning.

But this- This-

“Ex boyfriend?” Charlie asks carefully and Dean laughs hollowly.

“No, not really. We just- we- Never mind.” He stands up in a hurry, finding himself unable to think while he watches Castiel smooch a girl on the TV. “I’m gonna take a walk.”

His friend stares at him worriedly but nods. She’s obviously curious, but knows better than to ask questions when Dean is like this. “Okay. Be careful”

Dean nods and walks out of the apartment once more.

* * *

 

He hasn’t think of his last night with Cas in years. He saw no point in it and he supposes there’s still no point. It seems Cas is doing well for himself and he- well, he’s doing fine too but if they belonged to completely different worlds ten years ago, now- Now-

It doesn’t matter.

He knows he’s not entitled to feel like this; it’s not like he and Cas had had a deep relationship. It’s not like he had answered any of Cas’ texts or emails or skype calls. Still, he can’t help to feel a little lost, a little hopeless. Like something has shifted.

But it hasn’t, of course it hasn’t. He just found out his high school crush has turned into a tv star; big deal. This sort of thing happens to a lot of people all the time, right?

Then, why does he feel like this?

He doesn’t have an answer for that.

* * *

 

That night Dean dreams of a long buried memory. He dreams of blue eyes, a kind smile, soft kisses and untold promises. He wakes up shaking, feeling emotionally drained.

Only is his dreams, indeed.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t write unhappy endings. So this one… well, I guess it’s kinda unhappy, but that’s what its companion piece will be. So, keep an eye open for that!  
> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought!  
> You can also find me in [tumblr](http://ylc1.tumblr.com/)


End file.
